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Just A Minute! Pavements & Posteriors..

Our hapless Englishman, 'Just A Minute' confesses to bruising his bum in years past at one of the most celebrated Festivals of Ibiza (coming soon!) and advises how to avoid the same... Ha!

Just before Christmas last year I was driving along the main 'carretera' towards Ibiza Town on a crisp winter's morning. Rounding the bend from the San Rafel tunnel, I gazed upon Dalt Vila (Upper Town) on the skyline. Bon Jovi's classic album 'Slippery When Wet' was turned all the way up to 11. I was singing along, with great difficulty I might add, to 'Living on a prayer'.

My brother and passenger Steve commented, "Don't give up your day job". He should know I suppose, bearing an uncanny resemblance to Bon Jovi himself and playing drums in a rock band back in the UK.

Anyway, I digress. For the first time since I remember it was a skyline without cranes above this magnificent ancient fortress. In the morn day sun it is a view that never fails to inspire. I'll never forget the first time I saw this amazing building, or set of buildings to be precise and it still sends a shiver down my spine, and the album playing in the car was aptly named.

New to the island some years ago, I'd fly in for long weekends and wouldn't venture further than the beach. I'd land on the Friday afternoon and head straight to 'Salinas' for a large Sangria with friends. Jonny 'Sa Trinxa' would be playing some classic tunes. The weekend started here. Party hard for the weekend and zoom off Monday morning. Never even saw Ibiza Town.

So, looking through the Ibiza Spotlight in April a few years ago, I read a review for a Medieval weekend at the Dalt Vila. Curious, I read on and decided for once to venture further east than Playa den Bossa. An opportunity to visit my favourite place in May? Plus a weekend of culture with a fiesta, live music and fireworks all thrown in for good measure? Sounded too good to miss.

Despite overcast skies my 'weather app' assured me it would brighten up, and so I decided that shorts and flip-flops would be the order of the day. Took the bus to town and soon found myself stood in the queue at the information kiosk with the great and the good. Maps and event running order secured I went in search of some feudal fun.

I soon found myself stepping back in time, somewhere between the 5th and 15th century. Everyone was dressed in ancient costumes. Stalls were lining the streets inside and out of the great fortress before me. All with a particular medieval theme, though I am still not convinced second hand 'x-box' games were around at the time of the Romans.

Weaving my way through the narrow twisting streets of Serrano ham, dolls in traditional dress and buttered peanuts, I came across almost 20 large tents, the proprietors of which were all cooking various meals to sell. A simultaneous and delicious assault of all the senses. Sitting on the high wall, overlooking the sea with Medieval hotdog in hand, it was obvious why this magnificent location was chosen to defend the town in times gone by.

"Looks like it might rain soon" I overheard a passer-by say. They weren't wrong. Black clouds were on the horizon and some stall holders were preparing the tarpaulins. It wasn't long before I was stood in the shelter of the main entrance (Portal de Ses Taules) with what felt like the population of Ibiza. All trying to keep dry from a sudden downpour.

The rain soon passed. Wearing only flip-flops, I was an easy target for the amusement of those who had read the Ibiza-Spotlight website correctly.

'You're better off on foot, in sensible shoes, exploring the narrow, winding, steep cobbled streets'.

Negotiating the cobbles I slipped over onto my backside with a dull and very painful thud. Not for the last time too. Minutes later, I managed to repeat this particular achievement again on the pavements of 'Vara de Rey'. Black and blue, I hobbled to a nearby café for a soothing 'hierbas' to nurse my bruised pride.

So be warned. Each cobble in the streets of Dalt Vila has its own unique veneer and loves a fool in flip-flops. Slippery when dry and exceedingly 'Slippery When Wet'.

Take it from me. When exploring Dalt Vila, wear sensible shoes!

Just a minute!

For details of the forthcoming Medieval Festival please enjoy
Ibiza's 3 day Medieval Festival

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