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San An's annual shoot out

Who will survive in the home of the wild West End?

The faded glory of original White Isle venue Es Paradis was on display again last week for the opening of its 2006 season. (Click here for a review in German from forum peep icebauer69).

This event signaled the generally recognised start of San Antonio's summer. Their fiestas del agua, so named because the dance floor fills up with murky water thus providing an opportunity for illicit groping, continue every Saturday till September 17. Other parties begin in June.

Es Paradis - Photo: icebauer69

Es Paradis (photo: icebauer69)

Arch rival and neighbour from hell Eden opens on June 2 with a line up that contains numerous opportunities for vicious skirmishes in the battle for the attention and money of the club-going public.

All indications are 2006 will be a packed house with thousands flying in to witness the hand-to-hand street fighting techniques of veteran party promoters and steroid-abusing youngsters. Here are our picks for the most brutal match ups.

Kanya Beach vs Bar M

Forget the genteel sunset strip with Cafe del Mar, Mambo, Savannah and other old timers. The tasty action this year is with the innovators - Kanya has been gutted and lavished with millions of euros of art deco arty decorations and rebranded, er, Kanya Beach, presumably so even the drunkest of holidaymakers make the connection.

Kanya Beach plans

Kanya Beach plans

The terracing will be "massive - twice as much as Coastline" promises spokesman and entertainments manager Mo Chaudry, better known for his involvement with Cream (tho this is not a joint project). The luvved up Liverpudlians will be take over the venue all day on Thursday before their Amnesia parties.

"We're gonna have some parties with Housesonic who have people like Soul Avengerz and ATFC," continues Mo. "Tuesday we'll have pre-party for Crasher Classics at Eden and for Wednesday we're talking to Filthy Gorgeous do the daytimes hopefully. The Garlands pre-party will be on Wednesday night."

Friday evening Dusted will enter the building. Saturday will see Electric Sex in the daytime. On Sundays Radio 1's Julius O'Riordan will utilise the venue during the daylight hours and in the early evening.

Apparently the Judge this year wants to encourage his audience to "try a different headspace", which could mean a continuation of the breaks-flavoured formula he's currently employing at his eponymous Eden promotion.

Kanya Beach has a license till six in the am.

Meanwhile on the other side of the bay Manumission's Bar M have also been busy building a stage to host Ibiza Rocks events on Friday nights. Last year's Baby shambolic finale to their 2005 season gathered them so much tabloid coverage they clearly couldn't resist.

Our pick - Bar M wins by a points decision!

Why? Kanya is a class act and will continue to be an extraordinarily pleasant place to bathe in the hot sun. However if if the advance publicity is true then the Bar M gigs are unmissable. The July 21 gig in particular will be streets ahead.

Dusted @ Eden vs Pukka Up @ Es Paradis

Clive HenryDusted's beefy line up is extremely eye-catching with a slew of credible names undaunted by the possibility of diminishing their underground cred by appearing in San An - Circo Loco's Luciano and Clive Henry (left), nasty dirty Tim Sheridan, the Glimmers, Mr C even have all signed up for Electric Sex's back room.

In the main room lady killer Oliver Lang and Norman Jay MBE will be joined by White Isle faves Gordon Edge and Jon Ulysses, Lionrocker Justin Robertson for three dates and Scouser Yousef for two. The cantering and bantering Cuban Brothers will be at the closing on September 15.

Pukka Up are also putting their faith in the pulling power of funky house for the main room but the lesser known guests will likely see it trounced by the cool cats next door.

Our pick - Dusted wins!

Why? San Antonians who'd rather not travel over to the other side of the island for Pure Pacha or Miss Moneypenny's at El Divino will be attracted by the prospect of seeing hipper names on their doorstep.

Extreme Euphoria/Tidy @ Es Paradis vs Gatecrasher Classics @ Eden

Dave PearceThe bosh levels at this hard dance tag team bout will be fearsome. Extreme Euphoria vs Tidy was one of Es Paradis's best performers last year. Chubster Dave Pearce (right) is the resident at Gatecrasher Classics - the Sheffield crew will be attempting to land a few more effective blows than in past appearances.

Our pick - Extreme Euphoria/Tidy wins!

Why? Stars of the scene such as Andy Farley, Anne Savage, Ed Real, Rob Tissera and the alliance with local heroes Dirty Rotten Djs will use their teamwork and superior numbers to pin the less agile Pearce-led production.

Twice As Nice @ Es Paradis vs Bassic Instinct @ Eden

Mystique from music has a reputation for inciting violent confrontations but this ain't the Napa. For example last year Dizzee Rascal managed to avoid being stabbed on his visit. Anybody who has attended Twice As Nice at this venue over the past few years knows that it doesn't attract those looking for a ruck. Rather its a reasonably busy showcase for the hit tunes in the genre sometimes performed by live by the artists themselves.

Bassic Instinct is a brings the fresh sounds of "bassline house" to the White Isle, an updated version of speed garage which was such a big club sound at the turn of the Millennium.

Our pick - It's a tie!

Why? Twice As Nice have the heritage and the UK radio support but their bookings are perhaps over familiar - Artful Dodger, Matt Jam Lamont, Luck & Neat can all do the biz but their fan base is aging. Faster music tends to go down well in San An and it should be that with the right promotion new-to-Ibiza names like Big Ang, Mick Tole, Browny and Dj Mistique (above) will hold their own.

On the undercard: Hush vs Plastik

They might inhabit the West End but both these club bars have renounced the 2-for-1 Aftershock crowd and boast big beautiful dj booths.

Our pick - Go and see for yourself. Please report back here.

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